The Well-Behaved Child:  Disciplilne That Really Works: by John Rosemond

I was given the opportunity to review this book for Thomas Nelson’s Book Review Blogger Program.  I jumped on the chance to read this book because I had just finished reading two other discipline books (which I will post about later this week).

First of all, this book did challenge me to THINK about why I choose certain methods to discipline my kids. As a mom of toddlers and someone with a professional counseling background, this book challenged a lot of counseling and psychology theories I had been taught in school along with what every parenting magazine drills in our heads: Discipline should be accomplished through behavior modification. Rosemond claims that behavior modification (using positive and negative reinforcements) is only temporarily effective on children and that parents need to use their “authoritative voice” and demand good behavior – no questions asked, no reasons offered. He warns the parent against offering positive reinforcements because it sets up the notion that good behavior should be rewarded instead of expected. I agree with this in a lot of cases, but not all.

Rosemond definitely promotes the use of negative reinforcements and urges parents to make the punishment much more severe than the crime (stamp out that spark before it even thinks about turning into a fire). I think this approach is rather harsh and leaves out opportunities for parents to teach their kids a biblical perspective for parental obedience and grace. I also dislike his “doctor” technique that he describes in the book. This discipline technique urges the parents to lie to their kids (which Rosemond claims is acceptable since the goal is a good thing) and tell them that the “doctor” told them to do x, y and z and to stop doing a, b and c. He basically urges parents to scare and guilt their kids into behaving properly. I will not completely trash this book because I think he has some good reminders for parents that we rarely hear. He lays the blame for most poor behavior on the parents and their lack of proper discipline (which I think is correct). Overall, I would give this book a 3 out 5 stars, but caution parents NOT to follow his recommendations strictly.